Let the past stay the past!

Today is the holy day for all Muslim. First, let me say Happy Eid Mubarak 1435 H for all Muslim in the world :-)

Today we should be celebrating with happiness. However earlier today, there was something that a bit annoy me. Really,, it was really bothered me for awhile! I got message from someone that I never ever expect in my whole life. She sent me an apology text message. Btw, I appreciated what you have done. But better you don’t have to do it! I already forgave everything and forgot about those things! So better we don’t need to have any connection anymore. Sorry to say this. Hope you all understand.

Now, my life is much better without you guys. What happened in the past should stay in the past! If you,, yes YOU, or anyone that related to those things that really made big wound in my life start to send me a message again, even its a good message for ask an apologize or anything, it won’t work! It will only open that wound again! I already closed everything! I already forget everything and threw it far far away from my beautiful life! It doesn’t worth if something like that stay in my life. So just keep it to your self, and remove me from your life as well! I’ve fully moved on and I pretty much happier now. So, don’t ever ever come and take my happiness again! Let the past stay the past! Ok? Thanks..

-elsyaFhani-

Thank You

Terima kasih, Thank you, Kamsahamnida, dan istilah-istilah lain nya yang ada didunia ini. Ya, saya ingin mengucapkan itu untuk orang yang pernah ada dalam hidup saya, walaupun singkat. Seperti nya ini adalah saat yang tepat untuk mengucapkan ini kepada kamu yang pernah ada dalam hidup saya selama hampir lebih dari 7 tahun kita saling mengenal. Ini adalah salah satu media yang memungkinkan bagi saya untuk mengungkapkan betapa berterimakasih nya saya atas segala yang sudah kita lalui. Semoga kamu dengan tidak sengaja, membacanya.. :-) Mungkin tidak akan ada kesempatan untuk saya secara langsung mengucapkan ini. Walau bagaimanapun kita pada saat ini dan keadaan ini, kita pernah sama2 merasakan kebahagiaan, keceriaan, kesedihan, menjalani bagaimana susah nya hidup dan bekerjasama agar kita tetap bisa terus menjalani hidup. So,, here we go..

Dear You,

Tanpa tersadar, ketika mau menulis semua ini, tiba2 saya terbayang semua kenangan2 baik manis dan pahit selama kita bersama. Dan tiba2 juga,, dengan bodoh nya saya ingin menangis mengenang itu semua. Bahkan ada selintas pertanyaan, “Haruskah saya menangisinya? Pantas kah saya menangisi semua ini?”. Ya, its too painful for me, sampai terkadang aq menertawakan diri sendiri, mempertanyakan,, kenapa saya harus menangis?

Cerita kita berawal dengan tiba2, berkenalan dari sebuah media chatting yang teramat sangat random, sampai kita memutuskan untuk saling mengenal lebih jauh lagi, dan jauh lagi sampai ke arah yang lebih serius,, dan sampai akhir nya here we are.. Divorced!! Aq yakin semua ini sudah Allah takdirkan, right? Aq akan selalu ingat semua kebaikan kamu, kamu yang dari awal aq pindah ke Bandung yang selalu ada dan membantu mempersiapkan kelengkapan untuk OSPEK, kamu yang selalu membawa makanan klo aq lagi sakit, karena aq termasuk orang boros, kamu selalu mengingatkan aq untuk tidak boros,, tapi pada akhir nya, kamu selalu memberi uang jajan kamu disaat uang aq kehabisan sebelum waktu nya. Hehehe..

Kamu yang selalu tahan terhadap rengekan2 saya, dan akhir nya kamu menyerah dan menuruti apa yang saya mau. It is sweet, isn’t it? Kita sering bertengkar, tapi tidak pernah lama. Hanya dalam 1 atau 2 jam, semua nya kembali seperti tidak ada pernah terjadi apa2. Pada waktu itu, saya sangat yakin, kamu hanya melakukan itu hanya pada saya seorang. Saya mempercayai semua kata2 kamu, kalau kamu sangat mencintai saya, begitupun Saya. Saya yang sebetulnya kecewa karena tidak pernah mendapatkan hadiah disaat ulang tahun saya, tapi saya selalu berterima kasih dan tidak marah karena kamu tidak memberi hadiah berupa barang yang bisa dibeli pakai uang, tapi sebagai ganti nya, kita selalu bisa menghabiskan waktu di hari ulang tahun kita masing2. Tapi saya menganggap, waktu itu lebih berharga daripada hadiah yang bisa dinilai dengan uang. Right? Or I’m too hypocrite? Tapi ya itu lah yang saya rasakan. Saya selalu berterimakasih karena selama 7 tahun berturut2, kamu yang selalu ada di hari ulang tahun saya. That’s enough for me. :-) Dan untuk tahun ini dan seterus nya,, saya akan mulai membiasakan diri, kalau kamu tidak akan ada disamping saya dihari ulang tahun saya. :-)

Awal 3 tahun pertama, kita backstreet dari keluarga, sampai akhir nya, kamu mengenalkan saya kepada orang tua dan keluarga kamu atau lebih tepat nya,, saya yang memaksa kamu dan sedikit mengancam dan selalu bilang,, ‘Kenapa kamu tidak mau mengenalkan saya sama orang tua kamu? Berarti kamu tidak serius ya? Hubungan ini cuma main2 ya??” dan lain sebagainya, sampai akhir nya dia memutuskan untuk mempertemukan saya dengan orang tua nya. Hehehe. Dengan sedikit scenario,, Jadi hari sabtu, orang tua kamu datang ke Bandung, dan ada di kost’an kamu,, dan saya pada saat bersamaan itu, datang ke kost’an kamu,, dengan berpura-pura tidak tahu menahu klo ada orang tua kamu.. Hehehe.. So childish right? You still remember this? For me,, I always remember every details our relationship :-)

Setalah saya kenal dengan orangtua kamu dan adik2 kamu, bahkan kakak2 kamu dan semua keluarga lain nya, saya merasa hidup saya berubah selama di Bandung. Saya seolah punya keluarga baru, yang baru kenal belum lama saja sudah dianggap sebagai keluarga. Dan saya pun sebaliknya,, saya sudah menganggap mereka sebagai orangtua saya sendiri. Setiap ada acara keluarga di Bandung, saya selalu di telpon oleh Ibu atau Bapak kamu untuk ikut. I love them. Really love them so much. Thank you, kamu udah mengenalkan saya kepada orang-orang yang bisa menerima saya apa ada nya. Terima kasih banyak telah menjadikan saya bagian dari keluarga kamu. Walaupun rasanya sangat singkat karena harus berakhir. Semoga hubungan keluarga ini tidak akan berhenti sampai disini. Itu yang saya harapkan. Tolong sampaikan rasa terima kasih saya untuk semua keluarga,, dan juga saya memohon maaf kalau selama ini saya ada menyakiti siapapun di keluarga kamu. :-)

Tiba-tiba, terputar lagu Christina Perry – A Thousand Years di playlist saya. Dan tiba2 flashback,, Karena ini adalah lagu wajib yang ada di setiap kita karaoke. :-) See,, banyak kenangan-kenangan yang entah butuh berapa lama untuk saya melupakan nya. Mungkin butuh A thousand years? Hehehe.. But I still need to move on as fast as I can.

So here we are now. Allah only gave us time 5.5 years in relationship, and 2 years we’ve married. Semua nya sudah Allah takdirkan. I believe that. Everything happens for some reason. Right? I hope you will find someone better than me, someone that you will love until the end, someone that will take care of your parents and family, someone that can give you a child, someone that can make you happy and someone that will accompany you from time to time until you grow old and older. :-)

Thanks for all the memories that we have created from 2006 until 2013. At the first place, I feel like I wasted my 7 years with you,, but I didn’t feels like that now. I hope you can fulfill your dream with someone that you love. :-) Good luck for your future. Thanks for everything. Thank you for always being there for me at that time. Thank you so much and sorry for everything I’ve done to you that make you hurt. :)

Adios!

Sometimes, I forget to thank the people who make my life so happy in so many ways. Sometimes, I forget to tell them how much I really do appreciate them for being an important part of my life. Today is just another day, nothing special going on. So thank you, all of you, just for being there for me!

-elsyaFhani-

Short Trip to Kuala Lumpur

Last weekend was great!! Yeah, I went to Kuala Lumpur last weekend. From 16th – 20th April 2014. Actually it was long weekend, because last Friday is Public Holiday here in Jakarta, and also, I’ve invited to my friend wedding in Kuala Lumpur. So, I decided to go to Kuala Lumpur then. It was great. Meeting an old friends and colleagues as well. That was my plan. :-D Before I came to KL, I already have a scheduled to meet a people. Because it was a short trip, so I really want to have a quality time.

My flight was on 16th April, 9PM. So I arrived in Kuala Lumpur on 17th 00.15 AM. From KLIA, I took KLIA Express train to KL sentral and continue taxi to Pantai Hillpark Condominium. I arrived at Pantai Hillpark around 1.30 AM. It was really tired. But I also excited because I can go to my previous office in the morning. Since the public holiday is 18th April, so I promised to my boss, I will work from KL on 17th April. :-P

Day 1 – Working at TM Annexe

I woke up quite early in the morning. Actually I still super sleepy. But maybe I’m too excited to come to office. Hahaha. I already have appointment with my boss. She will fetch me. Since I dont have a simcard yet, so I asked Ricky to come with me, so I can borrow his phone to call Ryn. :-P Hehehhee.. 10 AM, she came, and only around 10 minutes, we have arrived at TM Annexe 2. Oh ya, I met Wieke as well. So we were went together. :-D Here we are,, My Partner in Crime.. Wieke Goemansalangi. :-D

My Partner In Crime

 

How’s the office? It was a bit different. Maybe because a lot of people have resigned already, so it feels like empty. Some of my colleagues was shocked to see me back to office again. But unfortunately, I only working in TM Annexe office for 1 day only. LoL. Oh yeah, on that day, Testing Team had  a farewell lunch for one of member testing team. Servi’s farewell. We were having lunch at Nando’s, Mid valley Megamall. Thanks a lot guys. :-)

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L-R >> Mei, KelShen, Ryn, Haini, Naqiah, Safrina, Pricil, Singgih, Servy, me, and Wieke

The rest of the day, nothing special. Working as usual. Only different place. :-P

Day 2 – Its a Good Friday – Off Day!

I already have plan for Friday. I went to Suria KLCC, for window shopping (alone ofcourse :-P ), and since there are a friends that working near KLCC, so we decided to have lunch together in KLCC. I met Ilyana and Iqbal’s wife. Ilyana is ex-Accenturian. So we were working together before.

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L-R : Ilyana, Me, Desy and Fad (Iqbal’s wife), and the one who took this , Leo! :-)

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Me & Ilyana at Suria KLCC \

2 PM, its time for Ilyana to go back to her office. Me? Ofcourse I was really enjoyed my ‘Me’ time. Walking around KLCC, took picture, Windows shopping, watching movie, and eating. I never had time  like that since I’m in Jakarta. So, I’m really happy.

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G2000 Fashion Show @ Suria KLCC

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Hello twin! :)

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Nice Dessert @ Hui Lau Shan ;p

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Watching ‘Rio 2′ alone. @ TGV KLCC

Thats it. It was an awesome ‘day off’ in Kuala Lumpur. ^^v

Day 3 – Its Saturday. Its time for Party!

Finally the day has come. Yeap, 19th April 2014 it’s Atiqah’s wedding reception in Shah Alam. But the reception held on 8 PM. So, saturday afternoon, I can go to buy some snacks to bring for my family. So, I decided to go to Mid Valley Megamall, yeap alone again. I was really craving for porridge at ‘I Love Yoo’, so I bought the porridge as my brunch menu, and for the drink, I bought Chatime Strawberry Pudding Au Lite. This flavour is not available in Chatime Indonesia. :-P

Once finish, I went to Charles & Keith shop. Actually, I dont have plan for shopping, but when I saw this bag and wallet, I already fell in love with the design and ofcourse the colour. Hmmm.. I feel guilty.. But, its guilty pleasure.. LoL.. But, I said to my self, its okay, you never bought a bag and wallet for a long time. So just buy it! Then, I just bought it with no doubts. :p

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How How? Its cute right? *wink*

Ok, enough with Charles and Keith. I dont want to go to another shop. I’m afraid will buy un-necessary things. :-p I’m finish shopping, and went back to Pantai Hillpark, and prepared for the party.

Here we go… Atiqah’s wedding party at Laman Kayangan, Shah Alam

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My first time, wearing a Muslim dress to the wedding party :p

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With the  bride and Groom, and also Accenturian.

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Accenturian!!!

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Photobooth as a wedding gift. :-)

So thats all for the wedding party. I had so much fun. I really enjoying my ‘free’ life. Thanks a lot all. You guys Awesome! Thanks to Nugi for the ride to the wedding, and also to Pantai Hillpark. ;)

Day 4 – Last Day In Kuala Lumpur

Huhuhuh,, why time is fly so fast. If can, I want to stay longer. Huhuhu.. Back to reality! I’ve packed all my bags and ready to go around 11 AM. But suddenly, the heavy rain was came. I was waiting at Leo’s place. So, while waiting the rain, we just took a selfie picture. Hahahaa. As usual.. I love take a #selfie picture. :p Here we go…

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Me, Leo and Desy

And finally the rain has stopped around 12 PM. So, we decided to go to KL Sentral. Its lunch time. But I need to drop my luggage first. Since I took Malaysia Airlines, so I can drop my luggage at KL Sentral, no need to bring my luggage to airport. Once finish, we were looking something for lunch, we decided to eat Nandos at Nu Sentral mall. Why Nando’s again? Because there is no Nando’s here in Indonesia. Aahhhh…. I really dont wanna go back.. *hug desy and leo* :-*

And ofcourse we took some pictures again. :-D We (hhmmmm maybe only I) looooooooooooooove taking a #selfie picture so much. LoL

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 Cute Duck Face :D

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I’m hungry.. Chicken Please :D

Hmmm… I full already! And finally the time has came. Its time for me to go home. Huhuhu.. Bye Bye Kuala Lumpur. Special thanks to Leo and Desy. You are my favourite couple!! See you again on June. :-D I will come back again on June 2014 to watch an Orchestra at Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra at KLCC. See you soon!! Many thanks for everything! :-D Adios!

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The Right Time

So many things happened lately in my life. Something that I never expect before, and some other things that matching with what I expect. That’s what we called a life right? We don’t know what will happen in the future. We only hope what’s good for us, but still Allah that will decide. I believe, He is a good Director. He knew what’s good and bad for us.

Let’s see one by one the example:

  • Start working in Jakarta. Going back for good.

August 2013, I’ve decided not to extend my contract with Accenture. Yeah, I’m going back for good to my lovely country Indonesia. I’m planning to stay together with my husband (was). Living like a normal married couple. That what I was imagined. I was rent a resident house near my office, but far from his office. I’m working from 9 am to 6 pm, Monday – Friday. I have a fixed schedule. But different with him. He doesn’t have fixed schedule. So, its hard for us to meet frequently. Actually, there is no different when we are far away. In 1 month, he was only 6 or 7 times to stay overnight at my place. I already here, in Jakarta, but we are still far away. Something wrong and fishy. And finally the day has come. The day where  I’ve found all the things that make me worry so much. What’s make me really worry was happened. Only 2 months since I came back from Kuala Lumpur, and Allah showed me everything. All my dream and my hope was gone. Angry, mad, hurt, painful, sad, broken heart.. Arrghhh I can’t explain that feeling with words! But, lets take something positive from this. DO not blame anyone. I’m not a perfect human that never make a mistake. Just leave it them who make me like this to Allah. Karma is exist isn’t?

Back then, I always wondering, why Allah haven’t give us a child. I always cry and feel sad every time I heard my friend is pregnant. But now, I understand, why Allah haven’t gave a child for us. Haven’t gave me a chance to feel how amazing the pregnant is. How grateful become a mother. Now I know why! This is the answer. Allah still love me so much. He open everything one by one. This was something that I never expect in my whole life. I, become a divorced woman! What a surprise! But, my life doesn’t stop there. I still need to continue my beautiful life. I believe, Allah have prepared something good and the best future for me. Just accept it for now. Nothing wrong with that status. Because of this case, I’m able to know which people that really sincere and fake. I know people who are really really care for me. People that will always be there for me in every conditions. Thanks for all my Family, my best friend, and all people that still love me. Without you all, I don’t know what will happen to me now. You guys are my strength!  So, no need to worry so much now, all this things was happened because Allah is still love me so much. :-D

  • And now I’m staying with my family and can hangout whenever I want with BFF, and I can go wherever I want.

See,, because of that case, now I can live with my family. I can sleep with my mom everyday. I can eat a homemade food that I missed so much. Ahhh,, thats heaven!! I didn’t asked for more. I only wapnt my family always stay beside me until the end of time. And also, I can hangout with my bff whenever we want! Being single is not the end! This is just a beginning, and I really enjoying my life now. I can go anywhere with no doubts. I can go travelling as much as I want. I feel blessed. Thanks to you, yes YOU! Because of you, I know how to enjoying my life. Because of you, I know how to having fun. :-D
I sincerely thanks to YOU! Maybe I will not have a chance working with a big company if you didn’t forced me to study in Bandung. I will not meet the best girlfriend ever like M.Py.E.N!! When I was in Bandung, I really relied on you. Thanks for everything!
That’s only some example that we should believe on Allah. How kind is He. We should thankful in every situation. If something happened, and its different from what we expect, just accept it. Self introspection. Ask our self, why is happen. Something happen for a reason. I believe, Allah already know the answer. Not everything that we ask, its good for us. Right? He know when is the right time. If  He doesn’t answer our prayer, maybe He already prepared something good than what we ask. Isn’t it? Just leave it to Allah. We, human, can only pray and hoping for everything good, but Allah know the best. :-)

 

Cheerssss!!! :-D

-elsyaFhani-